Would you like to subscribe to the Nagal Library Online to see the full text and read other Ferengi classics at no additional cost?

This website is a work of fiction!

Yes, subscribe now   No, don't

the rules of acquisition

Every Ferengi business transaction is governed by 285 Rules of Acquisition to ensure a fair and equitable deal for all parties concerned. You can find the essential rules here at the official website of the Nagal Library, and more available with an NLO subscription.

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
5. Always exaggerate your estimates.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
11. Even if its free, you can always buy it cheaper.
12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14. Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.
15. Dead men close no deals.
16. A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17. A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
20. He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23. Nothing is more important to your health... except for your money.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
29. What's in it for me?
30. Confidentiality equals profit.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
37. The early investor reaps the most interest.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
39. Don't tell customers more than they need to know.
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
43. Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
52. Never ask when you can take.
53. Never trust anybody taller than you.
54. Rate divided by time equals profit.
55. Take joy from profit and profit from joy.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63. Work is the best therapy - at least for your employees.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
66. Someone's always got bigger ears.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
68. Risk doesn't always equal reward.
69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
74. Knowledge equals profit.
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
77. If you break it, I'll charge you for it!
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
87. Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him.
88. Vengeance will cost you everything.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
92. There are many paths to profit.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
94. Females and finances don't mix.
95. Expand or die.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
97. Enough... is never enough.
98. Every man has his price.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
100. When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101. Profit trumps emotion.
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
106. There is no honor in poverty.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
108. Hope doesn't keep the lights on.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is work the sack.
110. Exploitation begins at home.
111. Treat people in your debt like family - exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
135. Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
141. Only fools pay retail.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
147. People love the bartender.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
151. Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
168. Whisper your way to success.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
177. Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
183. When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.
184. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
188. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
193. Trouble comes in threes.
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
199. Location, location, location.
200. A Ferengi chooses no side but his own
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
202. The justification for profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
212. A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
216. Never gamble with a telepath.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you're buying.
219. Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
223. Beware the man who doesn't take time for Oo-mox.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
227. If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
235. Duck; death is tall.
236. You can't buy fate.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
240. Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
242. More is good... all is better.
243. Always leave yourself an out.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
255. A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
257. When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
266. When in doubt, lie.
267. If you believe it, they believe it.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
272. Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
280. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Some rules are only available through a Nagal Library Online subscription! Subscribe now!
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Sponsored Messages